bantha_fodder: ([pretender] dork - piecesofalice)
I am a little bit grumpy. I was reading a discussion of race earlier this evening, and read, I was raised to be colo[u]rblind, which is a phrase that never fails to make me want to stomp about my house ranting about how I hate all humans. I suppose there might be people in the world who honestly do not see the difference between people born in different countries, of different cultures, but even if there are, I have to question them anyway because actually I like being Chinese-Australian, and actually it does mean that I'm different from my partner, who is not.

I don't know where I'm going with this, I just hate that sentence, I'm colourblind, it makes me so angry.

To cheer me up, I thought I would post this old thing, a piece of fic that will probably never be finished. Rereading it delighted me, and I hope that it might delight some of you also.

I originally started writing it at the prompting of [livejournal.com profile] piecesofalice.

***

His mobile rings, and he softly kisses his way along her skin. He scrabbles beside the bed for his phone, and answers on the third ring. "Excuse me," he says to her, and she smiles. "Yes?" he says into the phone.

"Ah, 007." Jarod can hear the sound of footsteps echoing above Sydney's voice; he presses the phone closer to his ear and turns away from the girl. "I have a job for you."

"Excellent," Jarod says. "Can I call you back?" He doesn't wait for an answer; dips his head for a kiss as a bullet buzzes overhead. "Thank you, darling," he says, as he rolls out of the bed and pulls his shirt on. "You were fantastic.

**

DUN DUN DAH DAAAAAAAH DADUHDUUUUUH, DUNDADUN DUNDUNDUN (etc)


JAROD BOND IN:

THE MAN WITH THE MISSING THUMB )
bantha_fodder: ([dune] in the trance - sloanesomething)
Timestamps for A Refrain of the Things Behind Us (brand new start):


SIX MONTHS, for fahye:

pilots )


and TWO YEARS, NINE DAYS for aj:


laura roslin )



OH MAN DUNE + BSG = BEST EVER <333
bantha_fodder: ([pretender] i beseech thee)
Silence in the Revelation by Pen
The Pretender/Children of Dune, rated G. Miss Parker.
I own none of these characters.

This is for [livejournal.com profile] zeplum. See what happens when you make a suggestion, and I'm bored and feeling down?

When Paul Atreides declares himself Emperor, her father is furious. )
bantha_fodder: ([pretender] miss p and the crane)
Remember that time I wrote about Jarod and Parker as spies? Well, this is a huge chunk that I actually took out and rewrote, because I decided the direction in which this part headed totally didn't work for me as the author, although it totally worked for me as the BIG FAT PRETENDER NERD that I am.

spies au thing that got written out )

AND NOW TO BED. GOOD NIGHT PLUM + AN ALICE IN MANY PIECES.
bantha_fodder: ([pretender] andrea and mtw)
Said You Were Back In Town by Pen.
Pretender AU. Rated M. Jarod and Parker ARE SPIES ALSKJFLAKSJDF

This fic is the fault of [livejournal.com profile] daygloparker.

Parker fucking hates London. )
bantha_fodder: ([pretender] take my hand - inkytwist)
The Wreck Keeps Running, by Pen.
A BSG/The Pretender crossover, rated PG.

Miss Parker and Jarod in space, at the end of the world.

Beta by my girl K.


She has never asked him to stay the same, but fuck if she's letting him change this. )
bantha_fodder: ([bsg] his helmet is stuck - sloanesometh)
The Pilot Bride, a crackfic by [livejournal.com profile] bantha_fodder
BSG, rated PG. No spoilers.
Words and situations liberally stolen from The Princess Bride.
For my Plastix

**

There was once an Admiral, with a wife and two sons whom he loved very much.

No, wait. That story is too long. Better to start here:

Lee was raised in a house, provided by the Colonial Forces, in the city of Caprica. )
bantha_fodder: (your grave - liminalliz)
title: of these truths
author: pen
fandom: bsg/veronica mars crack highschool au crossover
rated for sexing

i do not own these characters. obviously.

some time ago, sloane asked for logan/boomer highschool au. and it was only for private consumption, but tris mentioned it with capslock today, and who am i to deny her? i was going to clean this up, but this is the last time i'm going to be on my computer for the next week, so you get it as is.

no spoilers. for anything.

Not like he needs to study - or, in fact, ever studies ever, but Sharon doesn't know that. )

OMG VALIDATE THIS CRACK PAIRING.
bantha_fodder: (your grave - liminalliz)
the reason why i've disowned claira is because she was committing the filthy sin of writing kara/anders with no undertones of lee. i mean, how hard is it to humour me?

and when he turns his head, he looks familiar

is all it would take, because i'm easy, but NO, she refuses to even give me that.

and it's NEEDED, because hello, four days ago she was all, "would you miss me?" and fantacising about him, so, yo.

i'm a sucker for shout outs in fic and in movies and tv. seriously, a tiny line like that, that could be read fifty million ways, can make or break a fic for me.

also, claira fails at life for not recommending byzantium at crack_van for crossovers day.

*

because i'm five, you all need to stop squeeing about the extra userpics. it's making me stroppy and sulky, because i don't have a credit card and i can't find a (who does). seriously, i'm this close to ranting, and nobody wants that.

ETA: OMG WHICH ONE OF YOU BOUGHT ME USERPICS? that wasn't, you know, what this post was about, but i NEVER SAY NO TO PRESENTS OMG. OMG. O. M. G.

*

it's raining, quite heavily, so it's a good thing i found the time to go to archery yesterday as i cannot be arsed going today (unless it clears up a little). it's looking pretty gross, but i might go out anyway because i had a spectacularly bad training session yesterday. stupid sport.

*

and finally, some random La Femme Nikita/BSG. OMG shut it LFN was BEST EVER. )
bantha_fodder: (mr tumnus runs like the wind - sloanesom)
title: almost free to come and go
author: pen
fandom(s): BSG/Smallville
spoilers: vaguely for KLG, none for smallville
disclaimer: i don't own

an unbeta-ed Smallville/BSG crossover for sloane. seriously, if you're not into chloe and lex, this fic will hold no interest for you. plus i'm slightly embarrassed about this one, so.

30/05/2005

There are thirteen other reporters after the end of the world, and all of them refuse to talk to Chloe. )
bantha_fodder: (things i cannot do - cupiscent)
I know I'm not supposed to be writing fic, but the dissertation is just about to go to my independent reader, so what can I do now but twiddle my thumbs whilst I wait? So in this instance, fic is totally allowed.

So, this is an AU, but I've been told if I substituted other names in there it would read like hilarious original fiction, so you have no excuses for not reading this.

title: A Dame Longer and a Beer Shorter (An Elliot Stabler, P.I. Tale)
fandom: Law & Order: SVU
genre: AU
disclaimer: I do not own
do not archive

This is part of the SVU AU game, which is apparently to get us through the summer hiatus. Who knew? Not I, because it is WINTER HERE, and also I have all the SVU I need on DVD (ie, Season One of JOY). Anyway, Sloane said "ELLIOT STABLER PI, FILM NOIR," and frankly didn't need to say anything else because it is FILM NOIR GOLD.

Imagine this is all in black and white.

The name's Elliot Stabler. I'm a dick. That's slang for P.I., although my ex-wife would say differently. And this is a story about people. )
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