bantha_fodder | [natterings] there are no babies on the battlestar galactica

BIRTH CONTROL, PEOPLE.

So, I love smut as much as the next person, but I'm having some problems with the fact that apparently no one in the fleet uses birth control.

leda13 thinks that the women in the military get the suppressant shot because PMS x howevermany women x cramped quarters [equals] a hell they don't want to deal with. And I can deal with that, that's cool, but what about all the other women? The civilians on the other ships? It's all very well for the president to start telling them that they have to start having babies, but really, whilst they're still living on ships, having food and water problems, and running from the cylons, that's perhaps a tad unreasonable. But they're still going to be having of the sex and, look, I don't want to be the negative one to bring it up, but it's wartime, there's probably some deviant behaviour (ie, rape) going on.

Obviously, everything is going to run out (along with tampons, OMG, I fear for the civilians). And I bet that there isn't a condom courier ship in the fleet. Just, look, the thought makes me really happy, but no.

So, hilarious nuggets who like to talk a lot, what are they doing about contraceptives?

And, if you don't agree about the suppressents, what are they using instead?

this post sponsored by the reams of crappy fic i read today whilst avoiding working on my thesis, and also by

leda13's brilliant smutty piece 'Good Guys (Sometimes) Do Bad Things' parts one and two.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You went back and read that one sequel, didn't you? ;)

Anyway, maybe all the women in the fleet were somehow magically on one of those lasts for a long time type birth-control method like Norplant. As for the guys... er, maybe they're on it too only in a male version? Er, yeah. I'd be seriously surprised if the issue gets addressed in the next set of twenty episodes. (Unless of course there's a fleet-wide baby boom nine to ten months after the attacks.)

You went back and read that one sequel, didn't you? ;)

BABIES ARE BANNED.

(Unless of course there's a fleet-wide baby boom nine to ten months after the attacks.)

See, I would love that. Halfway through the next season, they've got so many heavily pregnant women, and they're like "uh, we're not sure we have the facilities to deal with so many babies." That would be so great.

BABIES ARE BANNED.

You did! HA-HA! ♥ Bless your flight suit! I tried (I like to give people second chances) but damnit, just no!

"uh, we're not sure we have the facilities to deal with so many babies."

Can you imagine some of the nearly homicidal birthing mothers? "What do you mean there are no more drugs?!?!?"

I tried (I like to give people second chances) but damnit, just no!

How is it possible for a writer to get worse? I'm asking you! The first was fine, aside from the baby issue. But then they GOT MARRIED. DOOM x4.

Can you imagine some of the nearly homicidal birthing mothers? "What do you mean there are no more drugs?!?!?"

You know what I need to do? Write baby fic. No, I'm serious. I'm going to do it, and do it well, damnit.

But then they GOT MARRIED.

They had unexplained-origin!flowers and hairstylist!Cylons - whee!

Write baby fic.

Have you come down with something? *raises an eyebrow* Actually, you're right. It does need to be written well so that the rest of us can point to it and go, "See? This is how it's done." And I promise to do my best not to link you crazy things like, oh, I don't know, that damn dancing baby thing that's been on the 'net since before god. However, I make no promises about badgers or lions. (Haven't had my tea yet, don't ask.)

What relevance, exactly, would lions have to do with my baby fic?

Also, writing baby fic is hard. I'm as far as Billy and Dualla talking about contraceptives, and it's just not working for me.

Absolutely none. My sense of humor isn't completely relevant first thing in the morning. (Only click one at a time, and make sure you either have the speakers or some earphones on. Oh, and, please don't kill me?)

I can understand that. Trying to write baby fic would make me want to stab something right this minute. Maybe skip the dialog and move forward to something else for a bit?

Do you know, that never occured to me? It felt like cheating, to move onto another part and come back, but I'm totally going to do that. I mean, I do it when I'm working on my thesis. Have you read this take on "they better start making babies"? No actual babies involved.

It was strange the first few times I tried it, but it worked out nicely. If I didn't skip ahead and work on other sections, I would get stuck looking at whatever wasn't working, driving myself up a wall and eventually throwing up my hands in frustration without ever finishing a piece. So, now I skip ahead, work where I can, and fill in the cracks/details/dialog later.

Yes! It's one of the five thousand things I need to go back and leave a comment on. I love it for these lines if for no other reason: Math. She'd do math. Gas/Volume conversions. True wind calculations. Wait, they were in space. Whatever. Whatever would keep her mind focused on something other than...did he just smell her hair? Frak. Frak.

OMG contraceptive-based wankery! How timely!

Two hundred words! I swear, you totally don't need a word count on how the baby fic is going, but you're stuck with me now. I'm going to tell you about it until the bloody thing is done, and there are babies everywhere.

My, aren't we trend setters. ;) *snerk*

Two hundred words is more than I willing pound out before tea. And now I have this mental image of babies cropping up through out the fleet like daisies... erm, yeah, tea now.

Yes, but it is my bedtime (although I have not drunk any tea for several days) so I should have written more!

Hmm. You do, of course, realise that babies do not appear like daisies? Although, that would be so much fun. Like cabbage patch kids!

Eh, you'll get there.

*Blinks all wide eyed and innocent* Why, whatever do you mean? Dude, just finding kids in a patch would be so much damn easier. It would also be kinda creepy. Shades of Brave New World even.

[natterings] there are no babies on the battlestar galactica

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