bantha_fodder | What my Flist can Do For Me

Some Things (Not A Rant):

When I first stumbled onto the internets, lo some ten years ago, I found a picture of Beaker (the Muppet) as the main image in "The Scream." You know the painting I'm talking about. Now, I can no longer find this picture, and I can't find the copy I printed out. Internets, FIND ME THIS PICTURE.
I was watching this awesome, stubborn, ice skating display this morning, and the following things occured because of it: I was late for archery; I was enthusiastic about archery; I thought, damn, I wish I knew how to iceskate, and I was sad because I've not watched any of the Olympics this time. So YOU, dear internets, should feel free to give me links to your favourite moments (so far) from these Olympics. And also, someone tell me how I can get something that is streaming (ie, Zhang and Zhang), and have it downloadable onto my computer.
I will do the fake titles meme, on the understanding that they might possibly become real fic one day. So, give me the title of a fic I never wrote, and I shall tell you how it goes. Fandom, pairing etc non-compulsory but preferred.
And FINALLY. Fandom, you cheer me so, with your anonymous "constructive criticism" memes, so I am going to open up a criticism meme right now. Comment here with your name if you would like concrit, and I (or other people, if they would like to participate), will give you constructive criticism WITHOUT USING THE ANONYMOUS FUNCTION. Do you know how successful this will be? Not successful at all, because fandom likes bitching behind their computers. OH LOOK THIS BECAME ANOTHER RANT.

I would love to see that picture of Beaker, as well.

Comment here with your name if you would like concrit

I volunteer! I've really appreciated the concrit you've given me in the past, so. All my fic is indexed here.

In general, and this is feedback you've had from me before, I think you love the short, punchy lines too much. As you know, I am a HUGE fan of short, punchy lines, and use them all the time, but sometimes your pieces are just punch after punch. Sometimes, you need to take one of those lines, and extend it into a paragraph. You'll lose the punch of that line, but it will make the following one that much more effective.

You need a beta. Not for grammar, or characterisation, but simply for style. Your grammar is excellent, and you usually have an excellent grasp on characterisation.

In order to be specific, I have selected two recentis fics of yours: Start Infinity Again (for those of you watching at home, it is Tenth Doctor/Rose), and Wild Dependence (Six/Sharon).

The italic section at the beginning of Start Infinity Again illustrates perfectly the problem I discussed above. As a suggestion, the first three lines smushed together. Add another sentence, and the final line out on its own.

Also, often your sentences are too long.

Start Infinity Again illustrates your need for a beta, just to smooth you over, too, with some tense problems and some awkward phrases.

Wild Dependence. Okay. I don't think the main section quite works. I know what you're going for, and this is useless crit, but I think it's off and I can't tell you why.

Clearly I don't hate your writing, or I'd have had more to say. I think it's these same points all over.

The end.

What my Flist can Do For Me

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