What my Flist can Do For Me

[bantha_fodder]

Some Things (Not A Rant):


1. When I first stumbled onto the internets, lo some ten years ago, I found a picture of Beaker (the Muppet) as the main image in "The Scream." You know the painting I'm talking about. Now, I can no longer find this picture, and I can't find the copy I printed out. Internets, FIND ME THIS PICTURE.
   
   
2. I was watching this awesome, stubborn, ice skating display this morning, and the following things occured because of it: I was late for archery; I was enthusiastic about archery; I thought, damn, I wish I knew how to iceskate, and I was sad because I've not watched any of the Olympics this time. So YOU, dear internets, should feel free to give me links to your favourite moments (so far) from these Olympics. And also, someone tell me how I can get something that is streaming (ie, Zhang and Zhang), and have it downloadable onto my computer.
   
   
3. I will do the fake titles meme, on the understanding that they might possibly become real fic one day. So, give me the title of a fic I never wrote, and I shall tell you how it goes. Fandom, pairing etc non-compulsory but preferred.
   
   
4. And FINALLY. Fandom, you cheer me so, with your anonymous "constructive criticism" memes, so I am going to open up a criticism meme right now. Comment here with your name if you would like concrit, and I (or other people, if they would like to participate), will give you constructive criticism WITHOUT USING THE ANONYMOUS FUNCTION. Do you know how successful this will be? Not successful at all, because fandom likes bitching behind their computers. OH LOOK THIS BECAME ANOTHER RANT.

Comments

[voleuse.livejournal.com]

I would love to see that picture of Beaker, as well.

Comment here with your name if you would like concrit

I volunteer! I've really appreciated the concrit you've given me in the past, so. All my fic is indexed here.

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

In general, and this is feedback you've had from me before, I think you love the short, punchy lines too much. As you know, I am a HUGE fan of short, punchy lines, and use them all the time, but sometimes your pieces are just punch after punch. Sometimes, you need to take one of those lines, and extend it into a paragraph. You'll lose the punch of that line, but it will make the following one that much more effective.

You need a beta. Not for grammar, or characterisation, but simply for style. Your grammar is excellent, and you usually have an excellent grasp on characterisation.

In order to be specific, I have selected two recentis fics of yours: Start Infinity Again (for those of you watching at home, it is Tenth Doctor/Rose), and Wild Dependence (Six/Sharon).

The italic section at the beginning of Start Infinity Again illustrates perfectly the problem I discussed above. As a suggestion, the first three lines smushed together. Add another sentence, and the final line out on its own.

Also, often your sentences are too long.

Start Infinity Again illustrates your need for a beta, just to smooth you over, too, with some tense problems and some awkward phrases.

Wild Dependence. Okay. I don't think the main section quite works. I know what you're going for, and this is useless crit, but I think it's off and I can't tell you why.

Clearly I don't hate your writing, or I'd have had more to say. I think it's these same points all over.

The end.

[hobviously.livejournal.com]

3. The Peculiar and Implausible Encounter of Misses Cho Chang, Professional Ex-Girlfriend, and Susan Pevensie, Spinster For Life

4. I would like nonymous concrit. My fic tag is here and my longer fics are separated out here.

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

Today I shall be reading and talking about The Adventure that Shall Fall Us* (Susan Pevensie).

You know I love subtle, but I've no idea what Lipstick is frivolous with the country still in shock, but to Susan, it's cheaper than the alternative. is supposed to mean. Also I don't like, Smiling contrast red.

There are some tense changes that should have been cleared up. And I know there are supposed to be tense changes, but sometimes you've wrong tense changes.

I don't like trailing benediction for all of Narnia, which is funny, because theoretically it feels like something I would write, so I should like it, but I don't. It feels off. Okay also and through the hours keep a vigil for the dying of their memories UGH. It's too naff.

You don't explain why Peter takes off his jumper and helps Susan put it on. Clearly, I don't want you to tell us or anything, and I want you to show, but I don't think you actually show it, so.

I love the bit about the churches, though.

I'm totally too tired to review a second fic. Sorry, Tris! You must forgive me anyway. I insist.



*(OMG Note to self I want to write something called The Adventure that Shall Fail Us)

[hobviously.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, pen! Nobody ever concrits me, and it's not because I'm too good, and I dare to think it's not because I'm too horrible, so really I have no clue.

Where are the tense changes, omg? I've gone through that story so many times and Imry betaed it and the thought of tense errors fills me with CRINGING. But not too much surprise because whenever I write in present tense I have these issues.

I actually pretty much agree with all of these criticisms, especially the vigil line which I HATE. Minimalism doesn't come naturally to me, but the story demanded I write it that way, and then some of the stuff like with the sweater and the cheaper alternative which I thought were super obvious totally did not make sense to the reader, as I discussed in the commentary. I fail! Back to wordy with me.

THANK YOU SO MUCH I ENJOYED THIS EXPERIENCE I HOPE SOMEBODY ELSE CRITICIZES ME TOO!

*(omg hahaha DO!)

[cupiscent.livejournal.com]

3. Ahaha, now how the tables are turned.

"The Sunday After", Karl/Miranda. Feed ME, yo. *G*
(Or maybe "Really Rather Not", Narnia, Susan-fic.)

4. *waves both hands* Dude, who doesn't want concrit? No, seriously. *perplexed*

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

In explanation: it's turned into this hate meme. And it started off as kind of a love meme, all "oh, I've always loved your writing," but now it's, "and YOU EAT DOGS" sort of thing. It's AWESOME.

[cupiscent.livejournal.com]

People? Stupid.

Dogs, on the other hand: tasty.

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Really? Last I looked it was all ass-kissing but I like my ass-kissing done with names :P Ha! Now that it's all wanktastic, I have to go read again ;)

[http://users.livejournal.com/wisteria_/]

Ooh, that one was easy. I just went to Yahoo and searched in images for "beaker scream". Dunno if this is the one you have in mind, but here you go:

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

...

Do you know, I spent DAYS searching google, and couldn't find it?


GOOGLE, WHY HAVE YOU FAILED ME SO?

oh god, the Zhang and Zhang thing just...TEARS!

[crushw-eyeliner.livejournal.com]

I uploaded the Beaker scream to my server, as the link above didn't allow remote linking:

http://youshouldbethere.net/images/beaker_scream.gif

and I will ask my techie friend about how to save streaming video to the hd, but as a stopgap measure, if you are interested in looking at this website:http://all-streaming-media.com/record-video-stream/

also, the imaginary fic about Cho Chang, professional Ex Girlfriend and Susan Pevensie, Spinster Extraordinaire, really must come into being.

I just read The Last Battle for the first time, and OMG. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

[cathiexx.livejournal.com]

Fake title: From innocent admiration to overwhelming passion to tormenting heartache to bitter jealousy. (because I dig long, over-done titles)

Fandom: SVU. Pairing: Elliot/Olivia (who else?)

[globalfruitbat.livejournal.com]

Fake Title (taken from things I see around me):Plus Kittens and Cats, fandom Firefly pairing Gen

[roz-mcclure.livejournal.com]

3. "Days of Wine and Roses".
4. DO ME! OMG DO ME! Rough-and-still-unfinished website's fiction section here.

[whatimages.livejournal.com]

3. Hardwire. BSG

4. omg pick me. That's the one thing I hate about LJ- it's pretty much impossible to get decent criticism anywheres.

ps: can I link this post for the concrit meme thing?

[bantha-fodder.livejournal.com]

ps: yes, of course. That's what the internets are for.

[baggers.livejournal.com]

a thing for saving streaming video: http://www.joshkinberg.com/blog/archives/2005/11/greased_google.php

although it is for firefox, so...

[annaalamode.livejournal.com]

c: A Chic Item
Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate