bantha_fodder: ([hp] katie + robert - amazedxgraphics)
bantha_fodder ([personal profile] bantha_fodder) wrote2005-11-22 09:41 am
Entry tags:

[fic] what you can [hp] [cedric diggory]

I'm still taking prompts here, if you want to request something. Terms and conditions are in that post.

title: what you can
fandom: harry potter
rated for sexing
i do not own these characters, and these events did not happen

beta by the ever delightful liz.

link: Get Cedric Laid.

for [livejournal.com profile] roz_mcclure:

***

Cedric was a nice British boy, and as such, kept a mental list of things he (being a Nice British Boy) was not allowed to do.


1. Be rude to mum.

Cedric, yells the howler, what's this I hear about you taking some Ravenclaw tart to the Yule Ball? What's wrong with that lovely Lavender Brown? We've known her family for years, I'm very good friends with her mum, and at least she's not a Ravenclaw.

His table mates laugh. He looks over at Cho; watches the blush creep across her neck in a way that makes him focus on the skin covered by her school uniform. He smiles at her and licks his lips, and she grins back at him.

He ignores the howler.


2. Have sex.

Cho traces a finger down his side, and he shivers. "Stop that," he says, and rolls over and pulls her close until she's straddling him. "Don't you prefer that?" He grins at her.

Cho leans down until their noses touch. "I prefer you when you don't talk, Diggory," she says, and digs her nails into his shoulders.

When he comes, he sees stars and fireworks and nearly swallows Cho's hair, but it's fantastic so he ignores the grass under his arse and tries for another go 'round.


3. Be untidy.

He brushes the dirt from his hair; dusts the twigs from his cloak and picks grass out of his scarf. Runs a hand through his hair until it stands up on his head.

"Am I acceptable?" Cedric asks. Raises an eyebrow at her.

"Barely," replies Cho, "but then, when are you?" She traipses off, and when he follows a minute later, he is accosted by Smith.

"Mate," says Smith, as he slings an arm over Cedric's shoulders. "Something to tell us?"

"You're a good looking man, Smith, but I'm just not that interested in you."

"Nah," Smith shakes his head, "you may not be interested in me, but you're clearly shagging someone." Smith tugs on Cedric's untucked shirt tails; tugs on his shirt collar and pats Cedric's arm. "Nice wet patch," he finishes, and laughs as they enter the common room.

"Mr Diggory, Mr Smith," says Sprout. "Must you always cut it so close to curfew?" Sprout looks closer. "And must you be such a disgrace to your House?"

Cedric laughs, and Smith looks suitably chagrined.

In the dorm, he throws his shirt to the carpet, and leaves it for the house elves to clean.

It's not something he needs to care about again.


4. Dance badly.

"Cedric," says Cho, as they make their way over to the punch. "Please try not to step on my toes next time."

"What makes you think there'll be a next time?" he asks, and she looks at him, clearly disbelieving.

"This doesn't look good on you," she replies.

"Oh?"

"This look," she says. "The trickery." She waves her hands. "These clothes. We've got to take them off."

He grins, and leads her back onto the dance floor.

If he steps on her toes again, maybe she'll spank him.


5. Break curfew.

"Not getting a hot shag tonight, Diggory?"

Cedric winks, slow and lascivious. "Already done, Finch-Fletchley."

"That quick?"

"It's ongoing," replies Cedric. "When you grow up enough to have sex on tap, then you'll know what I'm talking about."

"I'm recording this," says Hannah, reclining on the couch, "the girls of Hogwarts need to know what the boys really think about them."

"Hannah," he says, "I don't think they do."

"Cedric," she mimics, "how are you going to stop me?"

"I'll tickle you," he says, and pounces. Finch-Fletchley follows.

"No!" she shrieks, and tickles back. "Stop! I'll tell you anything!"

Cedric doesn't stop. "Tell me what you've heard about after parties," he breathes into her ear.

She laughs.


6. Have naughty thoughts about Pansy Parkinson.

At the Slytherin House after party, Draco Malfoy discards his ugly robes for something more befitting a man of angst and Death Eater ancestry. Pansy Parkinson parades in little more than a harem outfit, feeding Malfoy grapes and strawberries, and Cedric watches her, hoping she'll lean just a little bit further forward until he can see the shape of her breasts.

He bites his tongue.


7. Gossip.

He nudges Hannah as he seats himself. "Move over," he grumps out, and she doesn't stop talking.

"Krum didn't return to Slytherin last night," she says, much too loudly, and Cedric glares at her. Smith leans towards her.

"Where was he?" Smith hisses, and Hannah grins.

"Nobody's quite sure," she says, and Smith groans.

"Bloody useless you are," he says, and she kicks him under the table. Summerby laughs.

"There was a Gryffindor party," she continues, "and Neville Longbottom was looking more disheveled than our Cedric on the afternoon after a quidditch match."

"Longbottom? A sex god?" scoffs Cedric.

"Hey," says Susan, "don't knock it until you've tried it."

Smith spills his pumpkin juice.


8. Forget to do homework.

"Mister Diggory," says McGonagall, "just because you are one of our School Champions, it does not give you license to ignore your homework."

"The tournament is teaching me a lot, Professor," Cedric replies, earnestly.

"Do tell," says McGonagall, crossing her arms, and Cedric knows he has to be careful.

"I'm learning all about teamwork and creative problem solving," he says, and it's pretty clear it's not going to work.

"Mister Diggory," McGonagall begins.

"I'm doing all I can for my school, Professor," he interrupts, and gives a shy grin, and just like that, she melts in front of him.

She sends him to sit down, and he's so clever, it's almost embarrassing.


9. Tell dad to stop being so mortifying.

"That's my son," says his father as he wraps an arm around Cedric's shoulders. "He'll beat that Potter boy.

"Dad," says Cedric, and shrugs out from under his father's grip, "please."

His dad doesn't take the hint.

He never does.


10. Talk to Strangers.

It's dark and cold and they're in a graveyard and fucking hell he hates Harry Potter.

"Kill the Spare," he hears, and then-

END

[identity profile] mellowdee.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Very well written! And very interesting. I fully enjoyed this.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm glad you did.

some kind of wonderful

[identity profile] crushw-eyeliner.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
The Robert Influence is strong here, your Cedric's a lot more smudge by the jawbone, messy hair, rebel with a sort of cause, than the cleancut, soap and tie boy we see in the book. I mean, there's still that charm and goodness...but it's tweaked. A lot. I enjoyed it. A lot. Hee.

Also, any Cedric and Cho sexing is alright by me.

Re: some kind of wonderful

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
You see the Robert Influence everywhere. Did you see how he was flirting with everyone? Hufflepuff bike, that boy.
charis: MIKI from Sound Horizon (Default)

[personal profile] charis 2005-11-21 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I've mentioned recently that you're evil, right?

The last is just OMG.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Not recently, no, but I suspect that's because you've not been around as much.

(no subject)

[personal profile] charis - 2005-11-21 19:21 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] pourtant.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
The last one just killed me. I like the idea of a list, that's very Hufflepuff. The writing is very nice, I love the interaction with Cho and his House mates. And OMG the way he takes in McGo! *g*
As someone said above, your Cedric is Robert-ish, but you make it work. It's lovely and sexy :)

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! Cedric tries very hard to be sexy - he likes it when people like him.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHA AWESOME.

[identity profile] gobsmackit.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:19 pm (UTC)(link)
The Neville comment was pretty much amazing. Number 6 is intriguing, and number 10 made me "O_O," just as it should have. I'm totally in love with whore!Cedric. Because Hufflepuffs can be whores, too!

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Honestly, you are such a h0. And I blame you: it was your comment, lo those many weeks ago, that got me on this long road to HP obsession. DAMN YOU.

(no subject)

[identity profile] gobsmackit.livejournal.com - 2005-11-21 19:31 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] cbackson.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, in the wake of last night's viewing of GoF, #9 makes me so sad...

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I have not seen it! ALAS! (earwax)

(no subject)

[identity profile] gobsmackit.livejournal.com - 2005-11-21 20:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] gobsmackit.livejournal.com - 2005-11-22 20:26 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] roz-mcclure.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

(or, subtextually? I LOVE YOU.)

that was awesome.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
HEEE I feel we can be awesome together. What with you conquering fandom with your photo essay and all.

(no subject)

[identity profile] roz-mcclure.livejournal.com - 2005-11-21 19:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] roz-mcclure.livejournal.com - 2005-11-21 19:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] dramaturgy.livejournal.com - 2005-11-22 16:12 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] liminalliz.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I love this fic so much. :)

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for your assistance, miss liz.

NOW GET TO THAT ALI/KARA YOU BIG SLACKER.

[identity profile] brynnmck.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 07:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh. Fucking hell. That last one's just a punch in the gut, isn't it? OW.

Also adoring the last line of #2. It's always the nice boys, isn't it? Excellent. :)

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
Well, you're so busy making pilots all happy, someone needs to make the angst happen.

You know he's all about the sex. Those lascivious grins and little eyebrow raises.

[identity profile] baggers.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 07:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, the last bit! *wibbles*

Cedric/Cho is fast becoming a pairing I actively think about because of you. WHAT IS THIS MYSTERIOUS POWER YOU HOLD OVER MY FANGIRLISMS?!

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
MY POWER IS AWESOME. NEXT UP: HOTDOG/KAT.

[identity profile] reposoir.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 08:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Cedric! And tickling! Your Hannah cracked me up! It was so lighthearted and then- the end! *wibbles*

And thank you for sharing this lovely piece with us! :)

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
You're welcome! Hannah is a delight, as always, as is all of Hufflepuff. They love each other, hanging out and teasing and just having fun, so.

[identity profile] ethrosdemon.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
ok, this was wonderful. I especially liked the insane Neville/Krum crack, the Cedric being a real person (something I didn't feel in the book or in the movie) and the bit with his dad. AWWWWWWw, so horrible, but true. *angsts*

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
One of the things I love about the minor characters is that in the books and in the movies there are hints to the people that they are. And I hate that they're not real people, but I love the opportunity to flesh them out.

[identity profile] girl-wonder.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh. Just. Oh. Cedric *is* the Hogwarts champion in all the ways that matter. I loved this, it was short and sweet which made the ending all that much more brutal. Good work.

She sends him to sit down, and he's so clever, it's almost embarrassing.

Cedric/Cho is love.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
Cedric/Cho IS LOVE.

Cedric in the books is this heroic figure, and no one is that perfect. He's slightly bitchy, and he wants the sex, but he is noble and he does want to help people.
ext_7899: the tenth doctor stands alone (Default)

[identity profile] rhipowered.livejournal.com 2005-11-21 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
My god...this is so good, behind the scenes and the screencaps. [grins] Will rec.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
AWESOME. *g*

[identity profile] rawles.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 11:32 am (UTC)(link)
This is so gorgeous even though I hate you for making me read HP fic again by writing Cedric and Cho alla time.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
Cedric and Cho are AWESOME. Shame about the death, but they're pretty bloody hot.

[identity profile] dbil.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I loved this a lot. Is it all right if I add you?

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
Of course!

[identity profile] dramaturgy.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
sa;ldjfk (In other words, I loved it.)

Your characterizations are so much fun, and that makes me happy. A nice amalgamation of book and movie, which is what makes HP fanfic fun nowadays. :D

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm glad I could make you speechless.

[identity profile] bloodybrilliant.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
This is just so much love! I adore what you've done with it and just how you've fleshed out Cedric. I like that he is a bit messy and leaves his shirt for the house elves to pick up. That's a great touch.

Its such a lovely and heartfelt piece. *sigh* :) I want to read it again!

*memories*

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
Cedric exists. Of COURSE he drops his shirt on the floor. *g*

Thanks so much for commenting!

[identity profile] spellotaped.livejournal.com 2005-11-22 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
#10 just killed me dead. Like, I don't even know what to say right now. That was an absolutely perfect (and upsetting!) ending. Awesome, awesome fic. Totally going in my memories. ♥

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
But number ten is the only thing we know that definitely happens, which is the worst of it, because Cedric was too pretty to die!

[identity profile] klepto-malfoy.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
i can't stand cho/cedric. BUT OMG DO I LOVE THIS STORY.
it's awesome. you're awesome. the whole idea is awesome. your wording is awesome.
(you even sort of made me like cho/cedric ... which is disturbing)
awesome. totally.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 05:12 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHA But Cho/Cedric IS AWESOME.

I think it's just a fact of HP fandom. Cedric and Cho had something going on, and all the handwaving can't change that. So even if one doesn't like Cho, or Cho/Cedric, it's an important part of Cedric's characterisation.

I'm glad, though, that even though you don't like the Cho/Cedric pairing, you still enjoyed what I wrote. It is mostly about Cedric, though, which probably made it easier. *g* Because Cedric is so fabulous.

[identity profile] underlucius.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
Here via hogwarts today. This is (blushes) the first time I've read Hufflepuff Centric fic (that wasn't slash) and I really enjoyed it. A good use of the numbering system and a readable, enjoyable story, and a kick in the stomach at the end.

xxx

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! and don't blush! I don't think there's a lot of Hufflepuff-centric fic as it is, even though Hufflepuffs are wonderful.

[identity profile] idroppedarice.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
Aw. I love Cedric so god damn much even the slightest mention of him makes me feel like crying. I like how you haven't got him here as this totally honourable golden boy, but yet you've still got him as a typical teenager who could, in all honesty, be Cedric as he was. And the end... :( *pouts*

I'm going to be balling when I watch the movie, I think.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
He's written as so loved and admired and brilliant in the books, and I admit that he was that but he was still only a teenage boy, and there are things that teenagers do that JKR will probably never write about, like getting drunk and hanging out with Hufflepuffs.

I've still not seen the movie, which is annoying, but it hasn't opened here yet.

hogwarts today

[identity profile] forgotnsuitcase.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 08:54 am (UTC)(link)
Wow. That is the best fic I've read in a long time. It reminded me why Cho is cool, and interaction with his housemates is believable and awesome. And Cedric. Oh..:(

Re: hogwarts today

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh wow, thank you so much! I love Cho so much, and Cedric is growing on me (and is certainly pretty awesome), and I love the minor characters of Hogwarts, so.

Thanks again!

[identity profile] for-filosofia.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Another great piece written using an innovative format. Fantastic.

[identity profile] bantha-fodder.livejournal.com 2005-11-23 05:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I do try. *g*

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