[fic] a dame longer and a beer shorter [svu AU]

I know I'm not supposed to be writing fic, but the dissertation is just about to go to my independent reader, so what can I do now but twiddle my thumbs whilst I wait? So in this instance, fic is totally allowed.

So, this is an AU, but I've been told if I substituted other names in there it would read like hilarious original fiction, so you have no excuses for not reading this.

title: A Dame Longer and a Beer Shorter (An Elliot Stabler, P.I. Tale)
fandom: Law & Order: SVU
genre: AU
disclaimer: I do not own
do not archive

This is part of the SVU AU game, which is apparently to get us through the summer hiatus. Who knew? Not I, because it is WINTER HERE, and also I have all the SVU I need on DVD (ie, Season One of JOY). Anyway, Sloane said "ELLIOT STABLER PI, FILM NOIR," and frankly didn't need to say anything else because it is FILM NOIR GOLD.

Imagine this is all in black and white.

( The name's Elliot Stabler. I'm a dick. That's slang for P.I., although my ex-wife would say differently. And this is a story about people. )