at the going down of the sun

in the darkness, listening to the birds singing and the kookaburras laughing, watching the sun come up. it is then that i cry for losses and sacrifices and those who came home. i cried because in the darkness, i love my country. and i cried because the old man in front of me embraced a little girl afterwards and said, "you didn't make a peep. i'm so proud of you." and i cried because friends so often give me this look, like, why do you go? and, oh, military brat like that's all it takes. and i cried because my father joined the rsl, and he's so happy, it's like this phantom thing that he was missing has been restored. and i cried because i hate wars, but i would go off to one if i had to. and they weren't sad tears, but they weren't happy tears, either. they were just tears.

today is anzac day, and i am grateful for every moment of my life.