Thank you so much, pen! Nobody ever concrits me, and it's not because I'm too good, and I dare to think it's not because I'm too horrible, so really I have no clue.
Where are the tense changes, omg? I've gone through that story so many times and Imry betaed it and the thought of tense errors fills me with CRINGING. But not too much surprise because whenever I write in present tense I have these issues.
I actually pretty much agree with all of these criticisms, especially the vigil line which I HATE. Minimalism doesn't come naturally to me, but the story demanded I write it that way, and then some of the stuff like with the sweater and the cheaper alternative which I thought were super obvious totally did not make sense to the reader, as I discussed in the commentary. I fail! Back to wordy with me.
THANK YOU SO MUCH I ENJOYED THIS EXPERIENCE I HOPE SOMEBODY ELSE CRITICIZES ME TOO!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-24 02:06 pm (UTC)Where are the tense changes, omg? I've gone through that story so many times and Imry betaed it and the thought of tense errors fills me with CRINGING. But not too much surprise because whenever I write in present tense I have these issues.
I actually pretty much agree with all of these criticisms, especially the vigil line which I HATE. Minimalism doesn't come naturally to me, but the story demanded I write it that way, and then some of the stuff like with the sweater and the cheaper alternative which I thought were super obvious totally did not make sense to the reader, as I discussed in the commentary. I fail! Back to wordy with me.
THANK YOU SO MUCH I ENJOYED THIS EXPERIENCE I HOPE SOMEBODY ELSE CRITICIZES ME TOO!
*(omg hahaha DO!)