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So, the Month of Pretender is almost over! This is sort of boo, but I'm sure many of you will be glad, since you don't care about the show at all.
This post is an attempt to interest you in the show, complete with visual aids and an explanation of the show's premise.
There are brief spoilers for the series in this pimp, but they are for the most part limited to relationships (and I'm not talking about the romantic kind).
There are pretenders among us. Geniuses with the ability to be become anyone they want to be. In 1963 a corporation known as the Centre isolated a young pretender named Jarod and exploited his genius for their research.
And then one day, their Pretender ran away.
I wish I could find the opening sequence somewhere. It's got some fabulous grinning Jarod, and the following conversation:
Sydney: The Centre wants him alive.
Miss Parker: [huge grin] Preferably.
And the way Miss Parker says 'preferably' is like sex on a fucking stick, alsdkfjalsdfjafdkj.
The opening sequence also includes:
Random hospital patient from first episode: Are you a doctor?
Jarod: I am today.
And
Jarod: How many people died because of what I thought up?
Perri's guide here talks about the various changes to the opening sequence, which demonstrates all the reasons why I feel the opening sequence summarises the show perfectly. Which is why I wish I could find it. No matter!

Jarod was stolen away from his family when he was five or six years old. He works for the Centre for about thirty years, until it's slowly brought to his attention that the simulations he's been doing have been making the Centre billions of dollars as they sell to the highest bidder. Often these simulations have been important in carrying out assassinations, rigging elections, and making rich people richer. Jarod is idealistic and hates being used like this, so he escapes. Out in the world, he attempts to right wrongs, to make up for the terrible things he thought up when he thought he was playing games and being helpful. He also tries to find his family, and help Miss Parker learn the truth about who killed her mother. The other thing he does whilst out in the world is explore - he's thirty years behind everyone else in learning about random things we take for granted, icecream and lollies and video games and silly putty and other things the Centre thought their Pretenders didn't need to know.

The bad guy/helping people story of the week was always a bit blah blah, but it gave us nice bits of Jarod and the chance for Miss Parker to chase him a little more, so.

Miss Parker grew up in the Centre, due to her father's position as director. He makes all the decisions, and has been involved in the inner workings of the Centre for decades, and as a result Miss Parker could always be found within the Centre. As a child she explored the Centre until she was sent away to boarding school. On her return, as an embittered, driven woman, she worked for the Centre in Europe, until Jarod's escape meant she was recalled to the Centre to find him. She is highly skilled and very effective, which was why she was put in charge of the hunt to find him.

As the series starts, she is driven by her need to find Jarod so she can leave Delaware and return to what she was doing. We learn very quickly that as children in the Centre, Jarod and Miss Parker were very close, until she was sent away, and they both view that separation as a betrayal by the other. So her sense of betrayal by Jarod on two levels really drives her search for him. Jarod learns that it was not Miss Parker's fault, and he tries to reconcile his childhood best friend with this terrible, driven woman, and he tries to teach her (from a distance, so she doesn't shoot him) that she can still be driven and focussed and not be mean and bitter.
We never learn Miss Parker's given name.
This vid, by StuckHereWithNoTV, is perfect Miss Parker, and I both embed it and include the link here:
I previously wrote about Miss Parker here, if you're looking for a little more on her.

Mr Lyle was discovered by the Centre as an adult and brought in as an employee. He is ruthless and manipulative and driven by his need for power and control. He has this terrible habit of killing people (a plot point I shall not elaborate on because seriously, watch the Pretender for the sordid details of this plot point), and he is a horrible person and our beloved protagonists hate him, but it is revealed in season two that he is Miss Parker's twin brother, who was allegedly stillborn (and clearly wasn't).
Vid link for this perfect Mr Lyle vid here.
He's also a bastard. He had a terrible childhood in his foster home, and he was a bully, and due to his own, dumb mistakes and Jarod's influence he's only got one thumb and he kind of cares but mostly, he just wants to destroy Jarod and beat his sister. With whom he has quite inappropriate sexual tension (and awesome, unadulterated competitiveness). And he's currently working as gardener Mike Delfino on Desperate Housewives.
daygloparker and I like to speculate that he's hiding out on Wisteria Lane, waiting for Jarod to appear and biding his time as he kills more people, but that's just us.

Mr Parker has the most dubious intentions ever. We can never be sure what he wants, and what he is asking for, and whether what he says is the truth or a clever lie.

Sydney was like a mad scientist and a zoo keeper rolled into one. He was the one who looked after Jarod, ran him through the simulations and the like. Jarod thought of him like a father, until he realised the Centre was just using him. That threw his relationship with Sydney into doubt in his mind, convincing him that Sydney, too, was just using him, and had no use or affection for him beyond the Pretender program.
It's pretty clear to us, though, that Sydney's affection for Jarod was genuine.
Also, Sydney is an hilarious Belgian man.
After Jarod escapes, Sydney has to work with Miss Parker to recapture him, because Jarod is his project, and what else is he going to do? But he spends a lot of time trying to "accidentally" just missing capturing Jarod.

Broots is sort of Miss Parker's geek. He's wimpy, as your usual geek is, but also hilariously awesome. He has a daughter named Debbie who idolises Miss Parker. He often wore very ugly shirts.
This will come as no surprise to anyone, but the Centre is filled with creepy men and women. Here are two of them:

If you've never seen the Pretender before, I recommend the following vids (two of which are embedded in this post):
These four by StuckHereWithNoTV make a really nice set to start with. Follow You Into the Dark is about Miss Parker and Jarod's bizarre, destructive relationship, and the way they care about one another even when they're not supposed to. Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) is a different spin on the same thing: it's Jarod and Miss Parker's relationship, but a more positive spin on the way they relate to one another. I Hate Everything About You showcases more of the insanities of the Centre.
I recommend all of this vidder's vids, if you've the time and inclination. They have a fantastic grasp on all the characters, and manage to convey the sick complexities of the Centre in tiny moments.
The final of StuckHereWithNoTV's vids that I recommend is Everything Burns, a brilliant look at Miss Parker and her awesomeness. This is out here so it can be coupled with Back in Black by Leochick, a fantastic Mr Lyle vid. It showcases his insanity and his awesomeness perfectly. And it's a brilliant song choice.
Zsa-zsa makes some fantastic vids. Her vid page is here. My favourite is Uninvited (scroll to the bottom to find), a slow, depressing look at Parker and Jarod, with some beautiful Miss Parker cuts.
Darling Ness handily picspammed the first three seasons (by season): one, two and three.
This is my Pretender tag in my journal; these are the fic recs I've made. K has a lovely set of Pretender links here (including some vid recs), and Tahlia's list of links for the Month of Pretender can be found here.
ETA: Genius! Ness has uploaded the credits here. They are the second and third vids.

There was that time in the Everglades I tied you to a pole. Or was that last Saturday?
\o/
This post is an attempt to interest you in the show, complete with visual aids and an explanation of the show's premise.
There are brief spoilers for the series in this pimp, but they are for the most part limited to relationships (and I'm not talking about the romantic kind).
There are pretenders among us. Geniuses with the ability to be become anyone they want to be. In 1963 a corporation known as the Centre isolated a young pretender named Jarod and exploited his genius for their research.
And then one day, their Pretender ran away.
I wish I could find the opening sequence somewhere. It's got some fabulous grinning Jarod, and the following conversation:
Sydney: The Centre wants him alive.
Miss Parker: [huge grin] Preferably.
And the way Miss Parker says 'preferably' is like sex on a fucking stick, alsdkfjalsdfjafdkj.
The opening sequence also includes:
Random hospital patient from first episode: Are you a doctor?
Jarod: I am today.
And
Jarod: How many people died because of what I thought up?
Perri's guide here talks about the various changes to the opening sequence, which demonstrates all the reasons why I feel the opening sequence summarises the show perfectly. Which is why I wish I could find it. No matter!
Jarod was stolen away from his family when he was five or six years old. He works for the Centre for about thirty years, until it's slowly brought to his attention that the simulations he's been doing have been making the Centre billions of dollars as they sell to the highest bidder. Often these simulations have been important in carrying out assassinations, rigging elections, and making rich people richer. Jarod is idealistic and hates being used like this, so he escapes. Out in the world, he attempts to right wrongs, to make up for the terrible things he thought up when he thought he was playing games and being helpful. He also tries to find his family, and help Miss Parker learn the truth about who killed her mother. The other thing he does whilst out in the world is explore - he's thirty years behind everyone else in learning about random things we take for granted, icecream and lollies and video games and silly putty and other things the Centre thought their Pretenders didn't need to know.
The bad guy/helping people story of the week was always a bit blah blah, but it gave us nice bits of Jarod and the chance for Miss Parker to chase him a little more, so.
Miss Parker grew up in the Centre, due to her father's position as director. He makes all the decisions, and has been involved in the inner workings of the Centre for decades, and as a result Miss Parker could always be found within the Centre. As a child she explored the Centre until she was sent away to boarding school. On her return, as an embittered, driven woman, she worked for the Centre in Europe, until Jarod's escape meant she was recalled to the Centre to find him. She is highly skilled and very effective, which was why she was put in charge of the hunt to find him.
As the series starts, she is driven by her need to find Jarod so she can leave Delaware and return to what she was doing. We learn very quickly that as children in the Centre, Jarod and Miss Parker were very close, until she was sent away, and they both view that separation as a betrayal by the other. So her sense of betrayal by Jarod on two levels really drives her search for him. Jarod learns that it was not Miss Parker's fault, and he tries to reconcile his childhood best friend with this terrible, driven woman, and he tries to teach her (from a distance, so she doesn't shoot him) that she can still be driven and focussed and not be mean and bitter.
We never learn Miss Parker's given name.
This vid, by StuckHereWithNoTV, is perfect Miss Parker, and I both embed it and include the link here:
I previously wrote about Miss Parker here, if you're looking for a little more on her.
Mr Lyle was discovered by the Centre as an adult and brought in as an employee. He is ruthless and manipulative and driven by his need for power and control. He has this terrible habit of killing people (a plot point I shall not elaborate on because seriously, watch the Pretender for the sordid details of this plot point), and he is a horrible person and our beloved protagonists hate him, but it is revealed in season two that he is Miss Parker's twin brother, who was allegedly stillborn (and clearly wasn't).
Vid link for this perfect Mr Lyle vid here.
He's also a bastard. He had a terrible childhood in his foster home, and he was a bully, and due to his own, dumb mistakes and Jarod's influence he's only got one thumb and he kind of cares but mostly, he just wants to destroy Jarod and beat his sister. With whom he has quite inappropriate sexual tension (and awesome, unadulterated competitiveness). And he's currently working as gardener Mike Delfino on Desperate Housewives.
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Mr Parker has the most dubious intentions ever. We can never be sure what he wants, and what he is asking for, and whether what he says is the truth or a clever lie.
Sydney was like a mad scientist and a zoo keeper rolled into one. He was the one who looked after Jarod, ran him through the simulations and the like. Jarod thought of him like a father, until he realised the Centre was just using him. That threw his relationship with Sydney into doubt in his mind, convincing him that Sydney, too, was just using him, and had no use or affection for him beyond the Pretender program.
It's pretty clear to us, though, that Sydney's affection for Jarod was genuine.
Also, Sydney is an hilarious Belgian man.
After Jarod escapes, Sydney has to work with Miss Parker to recapture him, because Jarod is his project, and what else is he going to do? But he spends a lot of time trying to "accidentally" just missing capturing Jarod.
Broots is sort of Miss Parker's geek. He's wimpy, as your usual geek is, but also hilariously awesome. He has a daughter named Debbie who idolises Miss Parker. He often wore very ugly shirts.
This will come as no surprise to anyone, but the Centre is filled with creepy men and women. Here are two of them:
If you've never seen the Pretender before, I recommend the following vids (two of which are embedded in this post):
These four by StuckHereWithNoTV make a really nice set to start with. Follow You Into the Dark is about Miss Parker and Jarod's bizarre, destructive relationship, and the way they care about one another even when they're not supposed to. Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) is a different spin on the same thing: it's Jarod and Miss Parker's relationship, but a more positive spin on the way they relate to one another. I Hate Everything About You showcases more of the insanities of the Centre.
I recommend all of this vidder's vids, if you've the time and inclination. They have a fantastic grasp on all the characters, and manage to convey the sick complexities of the Centre in tiny moments.
The final of StuckHereWithNoTV's vids that I recommend is Everything Burns, a brilliant look at Miss Parker and her awesomeness. This is out here so it can be coupled with Back in Black by Leochick, a fantastic Mr Lyle vid. It showcases his insanity and his awesomeness perfectly. And it's a brilliant song choice.
Zsa-zsa makes some fantastic vids. Her vid page is here. My favourite is Uninvited (scroll to the bottom to find), a slow, depressing look at Parker and Jarod, with some beautiful Miss Parker cuts.
Darling Ness handily picspammed the first three seasons (by season): one, two and three.
This is my Pretender tag in my journal; these are the fic recs I've made. K has a lovely set of Pretender links here (including some vid recs), and Tahlia's list of links for the Month of Pretender can be found here.
ETA: Genius! Ness has uploaded the credits here. They are the second and third vids.
There was that time in the Everglades I tied you to a pole. Or was that last Saturday?
\o/
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-27 12:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-27 07:29 pm (UTC)At least, that's how I got it.
Also note: The movie torrent says both movies but looks like just one (four "items" called Isle of the Haunted; in fact, it's both movies, Pretender 2005 and Isle).
Someone has to explain torrents, though :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-05 12:47 pm (UTC)