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bantha_fodderThe Great Muppet Chinese New Year, by Pen.
The Muppets, Kermit, G.
Chinese New Year #12
**
The day starts fine. A little bit of toast for breakfast, he gets to read the newspaper, and Piggy's pretty quiet.
"Hey, Kermit," Scooter says, poking his head around the corner, and Kermit's stomach drops.
"What's wrong?" he asks with trepidation.
"Nothing's wrong," Scooter says. "I was just thinking, we're diverse and free-thinking, and we should celebrate Chinese New Year."
"Why? None of us are Chinese."
Scooter shakes his head. "That's not the point. We live in a multi-cultural society, Kermit, filled with frogs and pigs and bears and Americans and Chinese!" Scooter puts his hands on his hips. "I thought you'd be more open-minded than that, Kermit. I'm very disappointed in you."
"That's not-" Kermit starts, before he pauses, realising the futility. "Fine," he says, sighing. "I guess if we're going to adopt someone else's holiday, it's somewhat appropriate that it's the loud, colourful one."
"I knew you'd understand, Kermit!" Scooter declares, before racing off.
Kermit hides under the table.
**
He emerges at the sound of drums and bells. "What is this racket?" he asks.
Animal huffs. "GOOD LUCK!" he yells, and Kermit thinks uncharitable thoughts.
Behind him, wood topples to the ground and he turns. Gonzo grins up at him, his arms filled with fireworks.
"Where are you going with those?" Kermit asks.
"To the roof," Gonzo explains, like it's obvious.
Kermit covers his eyes with one of his spindly little arms. "Gonzo, you can't light fireworks on top of the house."
"Why not?" Gonzo asks. "It's traditional."
"Not for us, it isn't!"
**
He thinks about going for a walk, getting away from the hive of activity that his house has become. He tries not to think about bees as he opens the door of the cupboard in the hall; tries not to trip as half a dozen ducks fall out.
"Quack!" they complain, indignant and frightened.
"What are all these ducks doing in the cupboard?" he asks the house at large, arms flailing.
Rizzo pauses on his way past. "They're ducks," he says. "The Chinese eat them for luck." The quacking reaches a crescendo as Rizzo explains, and the rat hurries on, muttering to himself.
Kermit sighs and, after helping the ducks back into the cupboard, he retrieves his hat and goes outside.
He doesn't slam the door, and he considers it an achievement.
**
Beside the street, the Swedish Chef sets up a display of goodies, squishy cakes and things filled with nuts. A plate piled high with noodles perches precariously on the edge, and Kermit tries not to touch anything.
**
A golden pig waddles slowly past.
**
The day ends with a concert spectacular, fireworks coming from the chimney and a lion dancing through the garden, with a dragon breathing fire. Piggy looks fetching in her expensive red cheongsam, and when the Electric Mayhem beat their drums and ring their bells, all the neighbours come out to watch.
"It usually ends well," Kermit notes to Robin, and they both very carefully ignore the burnt patch in the middle of the lawn.
It usually ends well.
END
The Muppets, Kermit, G.
Chinese New Year #12
**
The day starts fine. A little bit of toast for breakfast, he gets to read the newspaper, and Piggy's pretty quiet.
"Hey, Kermit," Scooter says, poking his head around the corner, and Kermit's stomach drops.
"What's wrong?" he asks with trepidation.
"Nothing's wrong," Scooter says. "I was just thinking, we're diverse and free-thinking, and we should celebrate Chinese New Year."
"Why? None of us are Chinese."
Scooter shakes his head. "That's not the point. We live in a multi-cultural society, Kermit, filled with frogs and pigs and bears and Americans and Chinese!" Scooter puts his hands on his hips. "I thought you'd be more open-minded than that, Kermit. I'm very disappointed in you."
"That's not-" Kermit starts, before he pauses, realising the futility. "Fine," he says, sighing. "I guess if we're going to adopt someone else's holiday, it's somewhat appropriate that it's the loud, colourful one."
"I knew you'd understand, Kermit!" Scooter declares, before racing off.
Kermit hides under the table.
**
He emerges at the sound of drums and bells. "What is this racket?" he asks.
Animal huffs. "GOOD LUCK!" he yells, and Kermit thinks uncharitable thoughts.
Behind him, wood topples to the ground and he turns. Gonzo grins up at him, his arms filled with fireworks.
"Where are you going with those?" Kermit asks.
"To the roof," Gonzo explains, like it's obvious.
Kermit covers his eyes with one of his spindly little arms. "Gonzo, you can't light fireworks on top of the house."
"Why not?" Gonzo asks. "It's traditional."
"Not for us, it isn't!"
**
He thinks about going for a walk, getting away from the hive of activity that his house has become. He tries not to think about bees as he opens the door of the cupboard in the hall; tries not to trip as half a dozen ducks fall out.
"Quack!" they complain, indignant and frightened.
"What are all these ducks doing in the cupboard?" he asks the house at large, arms flailing.
Rizzo pauses on his way past. "They're ducks," he says. "The Chinese eat them for luck." The quacking reaches a crescendo as Rizzo explains, and the rat hurries on, muttering to himself.
Kermit sighs and, after helping the ducks back into the cupboard, he retrieves his hat and goes outside.
He doesn't slam the door, and he considers it an achievement.
**
Beside the street, the Swedish Chef sets up a display of goodies, squishy cakes and things filled with nuts. A plate piled high with noodles perches precariously on the edge, and Kermit tries not to touch anything.
**
A golden pig waddles slowly past.
**
The day ends with a concert spectacular, fireworks coming from the chimney and a lion dancing through the garden, with a dragon breathing fire. Piggy looks fetching in her expensive red cheongsam, and when the Electric Mayhem beat their drums and ring their bells, all the neighbours come out to watch.
"It usually ends well," Kermit notes to Robin, and they both very carefully ignore the burnt patch in the middle of the lawn.
It usually ends well.
END
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-28 01:31 pm (UTC)The ducks! *glee* I howled with laughter at the ducks!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 12:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-28 01:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 12:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-28 02:15 pm (UTC)This is one of those moments.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 12:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-28 05:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 12:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-28 07:02 pm (UTC)This rocks...
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 12:19 pm (UTC)Oh well. Sometimes you just miss the obvious.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 03:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-28 08:15 pm (UTC)Heeeeeeeeee!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 12:20 pm (UTC):o)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-28 09:44 pm (UTC)The ducks in the cupboard is just too hilarious. I love that I could see all this happening in muppet-vision. weeee!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 12:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 06:29 am (UTC)I love love love this.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-01 12:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-03 08:30 am (UTC)Bwa ha ha ha!!!
Poor ducks.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-07 12:36 am (UTC)