[five things] actors piggy put on her list of freebies [the muppets]

[bantha_fodder]

fox1013 requested the five actors piggy put on her list of freebies after marrying kermit. this is mostly that. sort of.



1. she meets josh charles the first time in a bar in chicago one rainy, disgusting night, when she's got mud on her shoes and he's a little tiny bit drunk. he buys her a drink, and she laughs. she meets him the second time on the set of Muppets from Space; he pretends he doesn't know her, and she laughs.

later, she beats him up, and he still pretends not to know her, so she leaves him there.

2. tr knight whispers in kermit's ear. "kermie," she says, later. "what did tr want?" "oh, nothing, piggy," kermit says. "just saying how he loved watching the show. it's always nice to meet a fan." she watches tr, then, watches how he follows kermit around and makes kermit laugh, and she has a word to her friend link.

tr still turns up the day after that, and she beats link about the ears. he always was a useless hogthrob. she goes to find dr strangepork, instead.

3. that adorable tom hanks has an adorable son. they meet backstage on conan o'brien; "miss piggy!" colin exclaims. "i love you!" piggy bats her eyelashes, preens beneath his smiles. "well," piggy says, "moi does try."

4. joshua jackson leans back. "so, when you married kermit, did you move into the swamp?" "so," she snaps back, "when katie holmes left you, did you jump into the creek? you've certainly got some mud there on your chin." "that's my goatee," he says, and strokes it. "and you love it." "you wish," piggy says, but she lies.

5. piggy is an actress, an artiste; she is classy and classique; she loves women, but she could never love a woman classier than her because there is none, you know how it is.

kate walsh smiles down at her, long legs and an irrepressible humour and an excellent, excellent taste in shoes, and piggy melts.

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