What my Flist can Do For Me

Some Things (Not A Rant):


1. When I first stumbled onto the internets, lo some ten years ago, I found a picture of Beaker (the Muppet) as the main image in "The Scream." You know the painting I'm talking about. Now, I can no longer find this picture, and I can't find the copy I printed out. Internets, FIND ME THIS PICTURE.
   
   
2. I was watching this awesome, stubborn, ice skating display this morning, and the following things occured because of it: I was late for archery; I was enthusiastic about archery; I thought, damn, I wish I knew how to iceskate, and I was sad because I've not watched any of the Olympics this time. So YOU, dear internets, should feel free to give me links to your favourite moments (so far) from these Olympics. And also, someone tell me how I can get something that is streaming (ie, Zhang and Zhang), and have it downloadable onto my computer.
   
   
3. I will do the fake titles meme, on the understanding that they might possibly become real fic one day. So, give me the title of a fic I never wrote, and I shall tell you how it goes. Fandom, pairing etc non-compulsory but preferred.
   
   
4. And FINALLY. Fandom, you cheer me so, with your anonymous "constructive criticism" memes, so I am going to open up a criticism meme right now. Comment here with your name if you would like concrit, and I (or other people, if they would like to participate), will give you constructive criticism WITHOUT USING THE ANONYMOUS FUNCTION. Do you know how successful this will be? Not successful at all, because fandom likes bitching behind their computers. OH LOOK THIS BECAME ANOTHER RANT.

[fic] don't want to see the end (a choose your own adventure)

Page Twenty-One:

"The Dwarves who live beyond Calormen have snakes for hair and sharp, pointy teeth," says Edmund.

Lucy crosses her arms. "They do not!"

"They do. Sharp because they need to pierce your skin. They eat soft white skin for breakfast because it's light, and rich, dark skin for lunch. It adds to nutrients in their own skin, since they don't get out so much. And at night, they wrap themselves in the hair of their victims, and laugh themselves to sleep."

Lucy shakes her head, puts her hands over her ears. “They don’t.”

“They do,” he insists, and Lucy screams.


If Peter gets cross, turn to page twenty-five.
If Edmund and Lucy fight, turn to page forty-three.
If Tumnus turns up, turn to page eleven.

[fic] don't want to see the end (a choose your own adventure)

Page Forty-Three:

Edmund grips her wrists. "Stop it," he hisses. "You'll get us in trouble!" Lucy continues to scream. Edmund forces her hands away from her ears. "You're such a baby," he sneers.

"And you're such a prig," she yells, and pushes him away. Edmund pushes her back, though he's king enough to know that he should not push girls.

Lucy takes a swing at him, because she's queen, and valiant, and fights for herself.

On the ground they scuffle, a mess of bright fabrics dulled by the dust and torn by the rocks.

They pause, and in the silence, Edmund sniffles.


For the ending I want you to pick, turn to page nine.
If Peter gets cross, turn to page twenty-five.

Turn to page nine, bitches.